Happy Birthday, Honey....

Ordinarily, my husband is the most reasonable and accommodating of individuals (he has to be, to live with me). The only chink in his king-sized, Prince Charming armor that I've discovered so far, after almost ten years of marriage, is that he has a rule about birthdays.

The must be celebrated ON THE DAY. No squeezing it into the previous or subsequent weekend. No two-for-one birthday/Christmas presents ... even if they are twice as expensive as usual. He'll play along if we choose to have a celebration on an alternate day, of course ... But on the stroke of midnight each Dec 30, he turns to me (or pokes me awake) and crows, "It's my BIRTHDAY!"

I think that, growing up, he sometimes felt like an afterthought ... I'm told that at least once before we met, his birthday went altogether without comment. Sequestered as it is between Christmas and New Years, it is entirely possible -- and highly likely that the slight was not intended. So for the past ten years I've made it my personal business to be sure that he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that his birthday is one of the most important days of the year to me. Because HE is the most important person in the world to me.

There was a time when we would celebrate by dancing the night away, swirling around the ballroom floor in top form to every Viennese waltz, mambo, and cha-cha. How we loved West Coast Swing. Two kids and a dog later, with sleep coming in two-to-three hour increments, we have just enough energy to clink our teacups together in between pre-bedtime nap and actually hitting the sheets with exhausted thumps. Sad, I know ... but we're hoping it's a stage.

So anyway ... Sunday, we went out to a Japanese steak house with the kids and his older brother and sister-in-law, who are two of my favorite people. But TONIGHT ... tonight after he comes home from work we have his favorite stuffed mushrooms and key lime pie (he likes Mrs. Smith's), and I'm spending the afternoon putting together his digitial picture keychain while he shops for the big-screen TV he's been wanting for the past five years.

My present to him ... Well, let's just say it's something he likes even better than key lime pie. With a little effort (slightly less than a full-blown Hustle), perhaps even more than the big screen TV.

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart.

Twelve Days of Christmas, Mommy Style

On the first day of Christmas Break, my children said to me,
"I'm missing my right bootie."

On the second day of Christmas Break, my children said to me,
"I want two cookies
and I'm missing my right bootie."

On the third day of Christmas Break, my children said to me,
"Mom, let's play checkers,
I want two cookies,
and I'm missing my right bootie."

On the fourth day of Christmas Break, my children said to me,
"Dad, please take us sledding,
Mom, let's play checkers,
I want two cookies,
and I'm missing my right bootie."

On the fifth day of Christmas Break, my children said to me,
"Maddie's piddled on the carpet again!
Dad, please take us sledding,
Mom, let's play checkers,
I want two cookies,
and I'm missing my right bootie."

On the sixth day of Christmas Break, my children said to me,
"We've got choir practice ...
Maddie's piddled on the carpet again!
Dad, please take us sledding,
Mom, let's play checkers,
I want two cookies,
and I'm missing my right bootie."

On the seventh day of Christmas Break, my children said to me,
"Let's go make snow angels,
We've got choir practice ...
Maddie's piddled on the carpet again!
Dad, please take us sledding,
Mom, let's play checkers,
I want two cookies,
and I'm missing my right bootie."

On the eighth day of Christmas Break, my children said to me,
"Can we bake some cookies,
Let's go make snow angels,
We've got choir practice ...
Maddie's piddled on the carpet again!
Dad, please take us sledding,
Mom, let's play checkers,
I want two cookies,
and I'm missing my right bootie."

On the ninth day of Christmas Break, my children said to me,
"We need more batteries,
Can we bake some cookies,
Let's go make snow angels,
We've got choir practice ...
Maddie's piddled on the carpet again!
Dad, please take us sledding,
Mom, let's play checkers,
I want two cookies,
and I'm missing my right bootie."

On the tenth day of Christmas Break, my children said to me,
"Let's surprise Dad for his birthday,
We need more batteries,
Can we bake some cookies,
Let's go make snow angels,
We've got choir practice ...
Maddie's piddled on the carpet again!
Dad, please take us sledding,
Mom, let's play checkers,
I want two cookies,
and I'm missing my right bootie."

On the eleventh day of Christmas Break, my children said to me,
"I can't find my mittens,
Let's surprise Dad for his birthday,
We need more batteries,
Can we bake some cookies,
Let's go make snow angels,
Let's skip choir practice ...
Maddie's piddled on the carpet again!
Dad, please take us sledding,
Mom, let's play checkers,
I want two cookies,
and I'm missing my right bootie."

On the twelfth day of Christmas Break, my children said to me,
"Three days more vacation!
I still can't find my mittens,
Let's surprise Dad for his birthday,
We need more batteries,
Can we bake some cookies,
Let's go make snow angels,
WE HATE choir practice ...
Maddie's piddled on the carpet again!
Dad, please take us sledding,
Mom, let's play checkers,
I want two cookies,
and the dog ate my left bootie."

Merry Christmas to all ... and to all, have a little Egg Nog!

Spend a Moment with Mary Today!

Today Sarah posted the Carnival dedicated to "Our Lady of Guadalupe," patronness of the Americas as well as unborn children and their mothers. Check it out here!

"What Have You Done" Meme

Got this one from Sarah at "Just Another Day of Catholic Pondering." How many of these things have you done?

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (keyboards, when I lived in Senegal)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland (DisneyWorld)
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch (does "counted cross-stitch" count?)
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (they're called "mental health days," you know... once in a VERY blue moon, since I'm self-employed and my boss is very strict!)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise (sort of. Overnight on a tin can to Bermuda)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (in general)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelos David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant (well, an anonymous dessert for a group of 6 teenage girls who had decided to attend their prom without dates!)
44. Visited Africa (lived there for a year)
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (Artists' Quarter next to Notre Dame)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling (baraccuda scared the snot out of me)
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater (my parents took us to a double feature: Cinderella and Cabaret. Spent the entire second half with my face pressed into a pillow, as Joel Gray gave my mother the creeps).
55. Been in a movie (fourth grade, played Molly Pitcher)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp (Auschwitz, Poland)
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt (helped my friend piece one, and tie it).
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job (office cleaning in college. Didn't pass white glove test.)
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible (over the course of years, not all at once)
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (do fish count?)
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (John Paul II, Ruth Bell Graham, Elisabeth Elliot, several other authors at various stages of greatness...)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

Just for fun, I'll add a few more:

* Potty trained a puppy
* Taught a dog a trick
* Went on a week-long, cross-country trip with less than 30 minutes' notice
* Invited a priest or religious sister for dinner
* Been in a foreign prison
* Went to a party in which you were literally the only straight, single person in the room (only one couple was married)
* Rode public transportation cross-country (any country)
* Ate kimchi
* Biked around Mackinac Island
* Milked a goat.

Prayer for All Those Touched by Adoption

Although I thought it was appropriate to include the previous post, I didn't want the post to have "top place" on this blog for any length of time.

The season of Advent is about waiting, about longing. We are waiting to experience the miracle of the birth of our Savior, to retell the ancient story of Grace Incarnate, to share with our families the Hope that was brought to the whole world through the irresistable and matchless love of God.

At the same time, we wait with those who are suffering -- knowing that the "suffering" are not always easy to love, or grateful for our solidarity. Still, there is no getting around the fact that we are a part of the human family -- and in some sense, part of the Body of Christ. And so, in the spirit of Advent, we offer our prayers for those who need them. (Feel free to add your intentions in the comments ...)

For those who wander in darkness, that You would be our Light.
Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer.
For those who are empty, that You would be our Sufficiency,
Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer.
For those who are sad, that You would be our Joy,
Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer.
For those who are grieving, that You would be our Comfort,
Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer.
For those who are confused, that You would be our Wisdom,
Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer.
For those who are overwhelmed, that You would be our Provision,
Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer.
For those who are troubled, that You would be our Prince of Peace,
Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer.

Best Argument Yet for Mutual Consent ...

"The Proper Adoptee" attempted to make the following comment in response to my last post. (In the past she has accused me of "lying" about her previous comments to me, so this one I am simply running verbatim.)

"Jesus wasn't Adopted by Joseph you liar. Was Jesus denied His bloodline? Was Jesus denied knowing who His Real Moteher was? Was Jesus told He could NOT know who His Mother was? THAT IS ADOPTION. You Pro Adoption Catholics are going to burn in hell for all the lies you tell. For how you refuse to forgive to get what you want. And I can't wait. I know Jesus will let me hear and watch you scream in the fifth realm and I CAN'T WAIT. Birth Mother Privacy IS A LIE AND YOU KNOW IT. And even if birth motehr privacy was real, which it is not, it is also CHILD ABUSE FOR ANY MOTHER TO NOT LET HER CHILD KNOW WHO SHE IS, and you support that? Yeah, you would because you are the devil."

If you were this woman's mother, would YOU want her to show up on your doorstep without warning? Doesn't the mother deserve at least a say in whether she wants contact?

At what point does the "need to know" turn from a need ... into an unhealthy obsession? Clearly, this is an expression of great pain ... and yet, it also raises the issue of why birth mothers may have concerns about being pulled into an emotional vortex like this one, after having already experienced the great pain of relinquishment.

This woman doesn't know me. Perhaps that makes it easier to use me for target practice. On the other hand ... imagine how her birth mother would feel to be on the receiving end of this kind of vitriol?

(This is also a good example of why I moderate all comments on my blogs!)

Entering Advent: Excerpt from CE Adoption Article

Last week I got a letter from an adult adoptee, who reminded me how important bloodlines were in the Old Testament -- of the long lists of genealogies that may be found in the Scriptures. He did this to support the idea that natural family ties are more important than adoptive ones.

However, as we enter the holy season of Advent, we are reminded that God’s redemptive plan involved adoption from the very start: the Incarnate Christ, the Son of God, was adopted by Joseph, the husband of Christ’s biological mother, Mary.

Both relationships – the biological and adoptive – were so critical to the salvific story that the lines of both parents are traced in the Gospels: Mary’s forebears are recorded in the Gospel of Luke, Joseph’s in the Gospel of Matthew: “…Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary. Of her was born Jesus who is called the Christ” (Matthew 1:16). Though Joseph was not related biologically to Jesus, his lineage was traced through the Davidic line that the prophets had foretold would produce the Messiah:

Little is said of the early years of Jesus, making it difficult to show from Scripture what kind of relationship Jesus had with Joseph, other than Gospel passages (Luke 4:16-17, John 1:45ff) that indicate Jesus was known publicly as the “son of Joseph.” The account of Mary and Joseph finding Jesus in the Temple (Luke 2:48-52) also offers this clue:

“He [Jesus] went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them … And Jesus advanced (in) wisdom and age and favor before God and man” (Luke 2:48-52).

When Jesus referred to “my Father,” invariably He was referring to God, not Joseph, for the simple reason that “his divine sonship, and his obedience to his heavenly Father's will, take precedence over his ties to his family” (USCCB/NAB Luke 2, footnote #13). His divine mandate was to prepare the way for all of humanity to become adopted as sons and daughters of God (CCC #2782-85).

As we read in John’s Gospel, chapter 1:

He came to what was his own,
but his own people did not accept him.
But to those who did accept him
he gave power to become children of God,
to those who believe in his name,
who were born not by natural generation
nor by human choice
nor by a man’s decision
but of God.

We find this adoption principle again in Romans (8:14):

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received a spirit of adoption, through which we cry, "Abba, 3 Father!" The Spirit itself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.

We see this same principle at work in this passage in the Gospel of Matthew:

While he was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brothers appeared outside, wishing to speak with him. Someone told him, "Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, asking to speak with you.")

But he said in reply to the one who told him, "Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?" And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my heavenly Father is my brother, and sister, and mother." (Matthew 12:46-50).

In these passages, we are reminded of three important principles of adoption: (1) The bond of adoption is by nature permanent, (2) The bond of adoption, for the child’s sake, is reciprocal (even though initiated by the parent), and (3) the bond of adoption is associated with both individual suffering and loss … as well as with a lasting heritage. (While adoptive family life is no more “glorious” than birth families, adoptive homes reflect the redemptive, adoptive love of God just as married couples open to life reflect His creative, unitive love.)