tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post874361065568566047..comments2023-10-31T08:06:52.230-07:00Comments on Mommy Monsters Inc.: When Moms Grieve: The Dark Side of AdoptionHeidi Hess Saxtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02791510605285520649noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-85443504916100992672009-12-18T07:39:30.374-08:002009-12-18T07:39:30.374-08:00aznavour, to help you empathize with first mothers...aznavour, to help you empathize with first mothers, I encourage you to look into the Baby Scoop Era as well as read books such as "The Girls Who Went Away," "Wake up Little Susie," "Birthmark," and "The Baby Thief." Much of the sentiments of adoption described in these sources still exist in adoption practice but many adoptive parents do not get to see The Declassified Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16726376584015902627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-1652832736524894992009-05-07T04:05:00.000-07:002009-05-07T04:05:00.000-07:00Myst: Given your background (adoption reform, grie...Myst: Given your background (adoption reform, grieving birth mother) it's not surprising that you would object to my take on the Scripture. However, NOTHING in the Scripture mentions biological parenting; it simply states "mother." <br /><br />As an adoptive mother whose children were abused by their first parents, the icea of "real mother" isn't as clear for me as it is for you.<br /><br />God Heidi Hess Saxtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02791510605285520649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-69334605664860656162009-05-06T15:43:00.000-07:002009-05-06T15:43:00.000-07:00Okay then...
Not sure what you read but in the Bi...Okay then...<br /><br />Not sure what you read but in the Bible it clearly states that the woman who was the mother of the alive child was the one who prevented King Solomon her child being cut in half whereas the mother of the dead child stated if she couldn't have him then his mother couldn't have him. And it is more likely that the real mother, the one who gave birth to that child, would haveMysthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07425550479815459790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-53034116400226694472008-08-23T00:41:00.000-07:002008-08-23T00:41:00.000-07:00Yes, you love them. But you don’t always like them...Yes, you love them. But you don’t always like them very much.<BR/><BR/><BR/>this is true for ALL parents. When we found out that we really couldn't live on my husband's salary and I needed to go back to work I was relieved. Now my husband is finding the need to establish outside contacts. Parenting is hard. And believe me, pregnancy does nothing to make the hard times any easier. It just MightyMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02563721884001643857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-84799350942239435482008-01-02T13:25:00.000-08:002008-01-02T13:25:00.000-08:00I feel for first/birth moms, who have another kind...I feel for first/birth moms, who have another kind of grief to process. Just as adoptive parents find that the reality of adoption is sometimes different from the imagined scenario, so is making an adoption plan. <BR/><BR/>When the image of the ideal family that you entrusted your child to turns into something less, a lot of anger can result. The lucky ones take responsibility for the choices Heidi Hess Saxtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02791510605285520649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-38333583776394285192008-01-02T11:15:00.000-08:002008-01-02T11:15:00.000-08:00I read the King Solomon blog and feel its an angry...I read the King Solomon blog and feel its an angry, bitter diatribe against parents who adopt children.aznavourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06876096782601178503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-37386648847122417472007-10-31T22:30:00.000-07:002007-10-31T22:30:00.000-07:00Congratulations, your post has been selected to ap...Congratulations, your post has been selected to appear in the <A HREF="http://askandrea.adamsweb.us/carnival-of-christian-advice-all-hallows-eve-addition/" REL="nofollow"> Carnival of Christian Advice. </A> Thanks for submitting! I'll have to bookmark this one--we've had adoption our hearts a while, too. Whatever experiences others may have had, I just have a desire to provide a loving home for aAndrea Grahamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15704143681030568711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-65390699307111125142007-09-30T22:36:00.000-07:002007-09-30T22:36:00.000-07:00This was a great post for the adoption carnival. T...This was a great post for the adoption carnival. Thanks so much for entering. I think so often this topic gets looked over... Thanks again for sharing with us all.Clickin Mama Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13128472861303140309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-53214268566704506222007-09-26T18:01:00.000-07:002007-09-26T18:01:00.000-07:00The thought of 'you are loved and you are not alon...The thought of 'you are loved and you are not alone' is so true and something I think most of us need to hear regularly. <BR/><BR/>I'm not sure that I agree about King Solomon and the Mothers. But it does give me something to think about, and I'm always open to new thoughts.<BR/><BR/>My little one has been home for about 3 months now. I don't know that I would feel different if she was born to meMama Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11731917736362150072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-44108573913944133252007-09-26T15:58:00.000-07:002007-09-26T15:58:00.000-07:00Thank you, dear Heidi,for this honest and moving a...Thank you, dear Heidi,for this honest and moving article. And with one's biological child, sometimes a defiant little one can suddenly resemble a relative who was abusive or who caused a heartache--it can work both ways.elena maria vidalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17129629173535139807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-60695958773194026802007-09-21T20:36:00.000-07:002007-09-21T20:36:00.000-07:00Wow, I'm not an adopted mother. I'm the mother of ...Wow, I'm not an adopted mother. I'm the mother of a 3 month old newborn and I'm shocked, just shocked at how similar the trials and the solutions are for adopted and non-adoptive mothers. Adopted mom seem to just have a sharper curve (I can't imagine starting to parent my son as a 10 year old, for example, so tough). Anyway, this has really encouraged me to lend an open (and non-judgemental) earAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14927751448670046314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-91499065035482332532007-09-21T17:52:00.000-07:002007-09-21T17:52:00.000-07:00I'd be happy for those who read this and knows of ...I'd be happy for those who read this and knows of someone who could use the information, feel free to pass it along -- with the copyright info, and linked to my blog. Thanks! HeidiHeidi Hess Saxtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02791510605285520649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-71531202870693638592007-09-21T17:41:00.000-07:002007-09-21T17:41:00.000-07:00Having adopted two children in the past year and a...Having adopted two children in the past year and a half via intercountry adoption, and from a country that is currently experiencing major upheavals in its adoption program, this topic has been heavy on my heart lately. I have only recently admitted that I have been experiencing these emotions, mostly because I was secretly afraid that the second adoption would not go through if the social THE MERRILL FAMILYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06021819035748596272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-91058669702265505172007-09-21T12:35:00.000-07:002007-09-21T12:35:00.000-07:00I'm so glad that you posted this! We adopted our ...I'm so glad that you posted this! We adopted our boys just over three years ago (from foster care), and I have dealt with these feelings time and time again. And unfortunately those who have never done this, simply can't understand... all they see are three happy boys.<BR/><BR/>Keep on keepin' on... I'm right there with you!MommaLlamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05727067626990325247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9369642.post-38030166739820392612007-09-20T16:48:00.000-07:002007-09-20T16:48:00.000-07:00We're hoping to adopt too, and believe me, I am se...We're hoping to adopt too, and believe me, I am seeing all the dark sides of it on this side, at least. I did go to the website of the woman who wrote about Solomon's judgement and adoption...very chilling. I've been reading a lot of that kind of thing and forwarding it to our social worker. <BR/><BR/>There are a lot of dark and difficult moments in parenting - many things most moms won't admit. KristineFranklinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08051753024065400876noreply@blogger.com